MCC Rehatjasch - von Jack Thiessen

Enn Singapore enn uck enn Steinbach jintjch daut jistre doll too: doa worde de iranische Zwillinje operaeat, hiea etj. See weare bowe toopjebackt, etj unje. Noh de Operatsjoon weare see bowe, etj bleef unje.

Bie ahn jintj daut Problem verr'e Jeburt loos, bie mie latztet Joah noh de Operatsjoon.

Aulso waut wea, enn waut späld sijch hiea auf?

Eajentliijch wea aul emma, ess aul emma, enn woat noch emma mien Problem - wiels daut hiea omm'e Beschniedarie jeiht - een väl jratret Problem auls twee toopjewossene Tjap senne enn bliewe, wiels gaunz Palestina ess je em Opprooa, enn aune Wartel von dit Problem, soo auls etj aul säd, ess daut Problem mett'e Beschniedarie.

Daut jeiht aulso omme Kruckebeet enn woo dee behaundelt woat. Etj wudd junt Tjeadels jearn mett'em Makrokosmus enn dem Mikrokosmus kohme, oba daut tjann jie aula, enn etj well doabie, aulso biem Mikrokosmus, dann uck wada mien eajnen Mikro nijch too seea em Schaute stalle, omm bieblisch too bliewe.

Aulso jintjch daut jistre enne Welt aulewäje aul tiedijch loos, enn wiels etj eena vonne Mettspälasch wea, well etj junt doavon vetalle.

Mien Chirurg wea een jewesse Garba ut Nigerien, aulso een jestuckta, studja Schwoata, dee aul auls Tjind vestund mett'em Machete omtoogohne, woohnt ahm jistre seea too Pauss kaum.

Eascht bedieselde se mie, enn dann jintjch daut mettem Boschmassa loos.

Eascht schneet dee Dokta een Kulla omme Stud, enn dann läd hee daut Massa oppe Kaunt, während se mie faustschnalde. Donn nauhm besajda Garba een Schlapstrank mett een Iesahoake enn läd den aun. Dann stiepad hee sijch aum Operatsjoonsdesch mett een Been too Wintjel, wetjeld sijch den Strank omme Grauje (soohnen Strank nanne se enn Steinbach äwajens eenen Singapore Sling) enn trock. Tweemol goot tetjche, enn dann haud'a daut Kulla vonne Wartel jetrant.

Enn nu woat de Jeschijcht eascht intressaunt, wiels? Joh, wiels daut Gaunze haude se dochwoll mol wada noh de steinbasche Oat, aulso hinjaridjsch, berät, enn hinjre Däah stund aul een ziepauagja Tjleenjemeenda mett een utjestraumden Nohme. Dissa tjreajch aulso mien Stejtch Lada. Oba doamet noch lang nijch jenuag, head etj saje.

Wiels? Joh wiels Dokta Garba haft doa em afrikaunschen Woold Frindschauft, enn dee Jungess fehlt'et emma aun Rehatjasch. Enn näjchste Wäatj woare fief ooda sass Garbasche-Plemenitjs em Nohme vom MCC, enn uck een bätje enn mienem Nohme, too Slingshots em schwoaten Afrika kohme. Dann tjenne see wada scheete enn too freschet Fleesch kohme.

Moral von de Jeschijcht? Eena kaun uck biem schlope Missjoon driewe.

Translation of Mennonite Central Committee Slingshots

In Singapore and in Steinbach there was a lot of action yesterday: there the Iranian twins were operated on, while I got the knife over here. They were pasted together on top, I below. After the operation they were above and beyond, while I stayed below.

With them the problem started before their birth, my problem started last year after my surgery.

So what was this all about, what happened?

To tell the truth, my problem has always been, is, and will always be - yes, I am talking about circumcision - a much bigger one than two heads stuck together because all of Palestine is in a constant state of uproar and the root of this problem, as I have already said, is that of the prickly prick and that of circumcision.

In other words, we are dealing with the human gourd and how it is handled. I would, of course, like to make reference to the Macrocosm and the Microcosm but since this is old hat to you; and yet when dealing with the Microcosm I do not really want to hide my own Micro under the bushel all that much either, biblically speaking.

Whatever, things started off early and eagerly early yesterday and since I was one of the involved, I am eager to get on with my tale (tail).

My surgeon was a certain Garba from Nigeria, a sturdy, gnarled black fellow who already knew how to make do with a machete as a kid and this practice stood him in good stead yesterday. First they dizzied me off to Gloryland and then he started wielding his bush knife.

First that doctor cut a circle around my village oak and then he placed his knife on a shelf while they buckled me down. For starters, the said Garba took a towing rope with a steel hook which he attached to the stem. Then he braced himself against the operating table with an angled leg, looped the sling around his dukes (I think they call such a tow rope Singapore Sling in Steinbach) and pulled. He gave it two good tugs before he managed to separate the bark from the oak.

Then things became a little interesting. That whole procedure had obviously made the rounds in Steinbach style because, behind the operating door one of those apologetic sanctimonious mission-minded pricks was already waiting. And he was handed the piece of my leather-skin. But that's not all, as I later heard.

Because this Doctor Garba has relatives right in the African jungle and these boys are always in need of slingshots. And next week five or six Garba nephews will finally receive, in the name of the MCC and a bit in my name, too, slingshots in dark Africa. Then they can go shooting and finally land some fresh meat in their skillets.

Moral of this story? You can do good works and practice mission even while asleep.

© 2007 Jack Thiessen