Date: 2009-10-15 21:36:58 Subject: FW: Chalk Guy is back From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: ralph unger <email@example.com>
Street Artist's.....newest creations -- Edgar Mueller Super Artist:
Great Crevase Edgar Mueller. Hard work: Together with up to five assistants, Mueller painted all day long from sunrise to sunset.
The picture appeared on the East Pier in Dun Laoghaire , Ireland , as part of the town's Festival of World Cultures.
He spent five days, working 12 hours a day, to create the 250 square metre image of the crevasse, which, viewed from the correct angle, appears to be 3D. He then persuaded passers-by to complete the illusion by pretending the gaping hole was real.
'I wanted to play with positives and negatives to encourage people to think twice about everything they see,' he said. 'It was a very scary scene, but when people saw it they had great fun playing on it and pretending to fall into the earth. 'I like to think that later, when they returned home, they might reflect more on what a frightening scenario it was and say, "Wow, that was actually pretty scary."
Mueller, who has previously painted a giant waterfall in Canada, said he was inspired by the British 'Pavement Picasso' Julian Beever, whose dramatic but more gentle 3D street images have featured in the Daily Mail.
This guy is amazing no matter how you look at it!
Date: 2009-10-15 22:05:38 Subject: FW: 7 Wonders of the World From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: ralph unger <email@example.com>
Date: 2009-10-17 23:55:46 Subject: FW: Lord Prop Us Up From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: ralph unger <email@example.com>
Every time I am asked to pray, I think of the old fellow who always prayed, 'Lord, prop us up on our leanin' side.' After hearing him pray that prayer many times, someone asked him why he prayed that prayer so fervently.
"Well sir, you see, it's like this... I got an old barn out back. It's been there a long time; it's withstood a lot of weather; it's gone through a lot of storms, and it's stood for many years.
It's still standing. But one day I noticed it was leaning to one side a bit.
So I went and got some pine poles and propped it up on its leaning side so it wouldn't fall.
Then I got to thinking about that and how much I was like that old barn. I've been around a long time.
I've withstood a lot of life's storms. I've withstood a lot of bad weather in life, I've withstood a lot of hard times, and I'm still standing too. But I find myself leaning to one side from time to time, so I like to ask the Lord to prop us up on our leaning side, 'cause I figure a lot of us get to leaning at times.
Sometimes we get to leaning toward anger, leaning toward bitterness leaning toward hatred, leaning toward cussing, leaning toward a lot of things that we shouldn't. So we need to pray, 'Lord, prop us up on our leaning side,' so we will stand straight and tall again, to glorify the Lord."
If you stare at this barn for a second you will see who will help us stand straight and tall again...Do You See HIM?
Pass this on to others who might need Proppin Up,
Date: 2009-10-23 20:38:58 Subject: FW: Cherokee Legend From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: ralph unger <email@example.com>
Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's rite of Passage?
His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him an leaves him alone. He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it. He cannot cry out for help to anyone.
Once he survives the night, he is a MAN.
He cannot tell the other boys of this experience, because each lad must come into manhood on his own.
The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him . Maybe even some human might do him harm. The wind blew the grass and earth, and shook his stump, but he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man!
Finally, after a horrific night the sun appeared and he removed his blindfold.
It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him.
He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm.
We, too, are never alone.
Even when we don't know it, God is watching over us, Sitting on the stump beside us. When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him.
If you liked this story, pass it on. If not, you took off your blindfold before dawn.
Moral of the story:
Just because you can't see God,
Doesn't mean He is not there.
"For we walk by faith, not by sight."
Date: 2009-10-31 19:14:43 Subject: FW: Aging - Absolutely beautiful From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: ralph unger <email@example.com>
we're all getting older by the day, it all depends on how we look at it
Date: 2009-11-16 10:35:32 Subject: FW: Today's Bible Lesson From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: ralph unger <email@example.com>
The woodpecker might have to go!
Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah's Ark.
One: Don't miss the boat.
Two: Remember that we are all in the same boat.
Three: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
Four: Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
Five: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
Six: Build your future on high ground.
Seven: For safety sake, travel in pairs.
Eight: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
Nine: When you're stressed, float a while.
Ten: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
Eleven: No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.
Date: 2009-11-29 21:30:06 Subject: FW: I know you will be sending this one on! From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: ralph unger <email@example.com>
Date: 2009-12-03 14:07:53 Subject: FW: PICTURES OF EARTH !! From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: ralph unger <email@example.com>
If you haven't seen these before, they are worth looking at, James
In my opinion a “must share” with your children and grandchildren.
Date: 2010-01-17 11:36:14 Subject: Getting back up - get the Kleenex From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: <email@example.com>
Press on, determination gets us there in the end, most of us didn't have fight as much as he did, James
Date: 2010-01-17 13:21:05 Subject: Newfies love their Moose From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: email@example.com
Back in the days when the pope would not allow Catholics to eat meat on Fridays, every Friday night after work, sun, snow or rain, Jack, being a Newfie, would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a moose steak. But, all of Jack's neighbors were Catholic. And since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday. The delicious aroma from the grilled moose steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.
The priest came to visit Jack, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Jack attended Mass, and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said: "You were born a Protestant and raised a Protestant, but now you are a Catholic."
Jack's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled moose filled the neighborhood. The priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Jack's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.
There stood Jack, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted:......
"You wuz born a moose,
you wuz raised a moose,
but now you is a Codfish."
Date: 2010-01-19 23:50:16 Subject: Just letting you know From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: email@example.com
I found a bug in the last E-mail you sent...................
Here - you can have it back.
Date: 2010-01-19 23:54:43 Subject: Stress From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: email@example.com
A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked "How heavy is this glass of water?"
Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.
The lecturer replied,
"The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it.
If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.
In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."
"And that's the way it is with stress management.
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,
As the burden becomes increasingly heavy,
We won't be able to carry on.
As with the glass of water,
You have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.
When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.
So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down.
Don't carry it home.
You can pick it up tomorrow.
Whatever burdens you're carrying now,
Let them down for a moment if you can."
So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now.
Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.
Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:
* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
* Always wear stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
* Drive carefully, it's not only cars that can be "recalled" by their maker.
* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.
* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
* Nobody cares if you can't dance well, just get up and dance.
* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
* The second mouse gets the cheese.
* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
* Birthdays are good for you, the more you have, the longer you live.
* You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
* We could learn a lot from crayons... some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
* A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Date: 2010-01-22 15:16:47 Subject: A Farewell Letter - THE PICTURES ARE BREATH TAKING!! From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: <email@example.com>I know this message is a little too big for some, for others it has too many pictures, but I thought it had a little deeper meaning, so I couldn't help but pass it on, From James
Date: 2010-02-02 05:23:07 Subject: Brilliant Clock Design From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: email@example.com
A different way to display time on the green time line. This is a really interesting clock! It comes from a Dutch web site. Here is what you will see when you look at this clock.
Don't do anything. It's automatically adjusted to your time zone. Just look at it and study it. It gives you the EXACT TIME of the DAY in seconds, minutes, hours, the day, month and year.
Just read the green line. Everything's there. Study it for a few seconds and it will all come clear to you.
Remember these definitions:
1st line is Seconds
2nd line is Minutes
3rd line is Hours
4th Line is Days
5th Line is Months
6th Line is Years.
This is the COOLEST clock I have seen yet!!
Click on: http://home.tiscali.nl/annejan/swf/timeline.swf
Date: 2010-02-02 06:03:26 Subject: This is Neat From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: email@example.com
UNBELIEVABLE MATH PROBLEM
Here is a math trick so unbelievable that it will stump you. Personally I would like to know who came up with this and why that person is not running the country.
Grab a calculator.
1. Key in the first three digits of your phone number (NOT the Area code)
2. Multiply by 80
3. Add 1
4. Multiply by 250
5. Add to this the last 4 digits of your phone number
6. Add to this the last 4 digits of your phone number again
7. Subtract 250
8. Divide number by 2
Do you recognize the answer ??
Date: 2010-02-03 21:55:31 Subject: Information please... From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: email@example.com
When I was a young boy, my father had one of the first telephones in our neighborhood. I remember the polished, old case fastened to the wall. The shiny receiver hung on the side of the box. I was too little to reach the telephone, but used to listen with fascination when my mother talked to it.
Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an amazing person. Her name was "Information Please" and there was nothing she did not know. Information Please could supply anyone's number and the correct time.
My personal experience with the genie-in-a-bottle came one day while my mother was visiting a neighbor... Amusing myself at the tool bench in the basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer, the pain was terrible, but there seemed no point in crying because there was no one home to give sympathy.
I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving at the stairway. The telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the parlor and dragged it to the landing. Climbing up, I unhooked the receiver in the parlor and held it to my ear.
"Information, please" I said into the mouthpiece just above my head.
A click or two and a small clear voice spoke into my ear. "Information."
"I hurt my finger..." I wailed into the phone, the tears came readily enough now that I had an audience.
"Isn't your mother home?" came the question.
"Nobody's home but me," I blubbered.
"Are you bleeding?" the voice asked.
"No," I replied. "I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts."
"Can you open the icebox?" she asked.
I said I could.
"Then chip off a little bit of ice and hold it to your finger," said the voice.
After that, I called "Information Please" for everything. I asked her for Help with my geography, and she told me where Philadelphia was. She helped me with my math.
She told me my pet chipmunk that I had caught in the park just the day before, would eat fruit and nuts.
Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary, died. I called, Information Please," and told her the sad story. She listened, and then said things grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I was not consoled. I asked her, "Why is it that birds should sing so beautifully and bring joy to all families, only to end up as a heap of feathers on the bottom of a cage?"
She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, "Wayne, always remember that there are other worlds to sing in."
Somehow I felt better.
Another day I was on the telephone, "Information Please."
"Information," said in the now familiar voice.
"How do I spell fix?" I asked.
All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest. When I was nine years old, we moved across the country to Boston. I missed my friend very much. "Information Please" belonged in that old wooden box back home and I somehow never thought of trying the shiny new phone that sat on the table in the hall. As I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood conversations never really left me. Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity I would recall the serene sense of security I had then. I appreciated now how patient, understanding, and kind she was to have spent her time on a little boy.
A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in Seattle. I had about a half-hour or so between planes. I spent 15 minutes or so on the phone with my sister, who lived there now. Then without thinking what I was doing, I dialed my hometown operator and said, "Information Please."
Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well, "Information."
I hadn't planned this, but I heard myself saying, "Could you please tell me how to spell fix?"
There was a long pause. Then came the soft spoken answer, "I guess your finger must have healed by now..."
I laughed, "So it's really you," I said. "I wonder if you have any idea how much you meant to me during that time?"
"I wonder," she said, "if you know how much your call meant to me. I never had any children and I used to look forward to your calls."
I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and I asked if I could call her again when I came back to visit my sister.
"Please do", she said. "Just ask for Sally."
Three months later I was back in Seattle. A different voice answered, "Information."
I asked for Sally.
"Are you a friend?" she said.
"Yes, a very old friend," I answered.
"I'm sorry to have to tell you this," she said, "Sally had been working part time the last few years because she was sick. She died five weeks ago."
Before I could hang up, she said, "Wait a minute, did you say your name was Wayne?"
Yes," I answered.
"Well, Sally left a message for you. She wrote it down in case you called. Let me read it to you."
The note said... "Tell him there are other worlds to sing in. He'll know what I mean."
I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant.
Never underestimate the impression you may make on others. Whose life have you touched today? Why not pass this on? I just did....
Lifting you on eagle's wings.
May you find the joy and peace you long for.
Life is a journey ... NOT a guided tour.
Date: 2010-02-03 22:08:44 Subject: Emailing: the horse and pig story From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: email@example.com
Date: 2010-02-05 09:42:04 Subject: life's lessons? From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: email@example.com
Age 5: I learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sing "Silent Night".
Age 6: I learned that our dog doesn't want to eat my broccoli either.
Age 7: I learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back.
Age 9: I learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes me clean it up again.
Age 12: I learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up.
Age 14: I learned that although it's hard to admit it, I'm secretly glad my parents are strict with me.
Age 15: I learned that silent company is often more healing than words of advice.
Age 24: I learned that brushing my child's hair is one of life's great pleasures.
Age 26: I learned that wherever I go, the world's worst drivers have followed me there.
Age 29: I learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.
Age 30: I learned that there are people who love you dearly but just don't know how to show it.
Age 42: I learned that you can make some one's day by simply sending them a little note.
Age 44: I learned that the greater a person's sense of guilt, the greater his or her need to cast blame on others.
Age 46: I learned that children and parents are natural allies.
Age 47: I learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
Age 48: I learned that singing "Amazing Grace" can lift my spirits for hours.
Age 49: I learned that motel mattresses are better on the side away from the phone.
Age 50: I learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
Age 51: I learned that keeping a vegetable garden is worth a medicine cabinet full of pills.
Age 52: I learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you miss them terribly after they die.
Age 53: I learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life.
Age 61: I learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
Age 62: I learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catchers mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.
Age 64: I learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if you focus on your family, the needs of others, your work, meeting new people, and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.
Age 65: I learned that whenever I decide something with kindness, I usually make the right decision.
Age 66: I learned that everyone can use a prayer.
Age 72: I learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
Age 82: I learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch-holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
Age 90: I learned that I still have a lot to learn.
Age 92: I learned that you should pass this on to someone you care about. Sometimes they just need a little something to make them smile.
Date: 2010-02-13 23:01:29 Subject: 3 legged bear From: "james friesen" <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: <email@example.com>When the going gets tough the tough get going, Its only hopeless if you don't try. From James
Date: 2010-03-01 18:57:42 Subject: When it's OK to wet your pants From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: email@example.com
Date: 2010-03-03 21:14:00 Subject: MAGIC GOPHER GAME From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: email@example.comThis one I have not figured out yet, how it is done. So far it's a mystery. I'm sure it's simple once you figure it out. Have fun. From James
Okay, this one will drive you nuts figuring out how it works every time.
But then again, it won't take much to drive some of you nuts, including me! CLICK BELOW:
Date: 2010-03-04 18:14:28 Subject: Neat pix From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: email@example.com
This is an animated graphic. It will automatically change to a new message for you to view. This is cool!
Saskatchewan Home Security
PICTURES THAT MAKE YOU SAY, "Huh":
Don't we all want to do this some days?
God IS bigger than the boogie man!
This is an eye popper...
BE VERY CAREFUL WITH YOUR NEXT JAM. .......
Come and fix the printer jam please? Call Minnie; Mickey is in trouble.
He's not dead but he's sure stuck!? They do end up getting him out and letting him loose for those of you that are mouse lovers. How'd you like to get to work and find this problem??
HOW TO LIVE LIFE.....
Be Calm... Quiet... Tranquil....
Bloom as often as you can...
Stay close to your Family....
Explore the world around you....
Enjoy the relaxing rhythm of waves...
W A T C H T H E M O O N R I S E.....
Spread your wings and take off on your own...
Then enjoy the comfort of coming home again...
Life is short.
Please... While you can...
Take time to enjoy all the little pleasures
that God has provided for you....
If you need some hints....
Go back and read this again!
FROM ONE FRIEND TO ANOTHER
Date: 2010-03-04 18:17:19 Subject: Noah in 2008 From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: email@example.com
In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Canada, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans." He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark. "Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.
Then Hydro One demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!
When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
Then the Ministry of the Environment ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.
I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
Immigration and Naturalization are checking the Visa status of most of the people who want to work.
The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only union workers with Ark-building experience.
To make matters worse, Revenue Canada seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.
So, forgive me, Lord, but it will take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark."
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"
"No," said the Lord. "The Government beat me to it."
Date: 2010-03-04 18:19:09 Subject: The Crosswalk From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: email@example.com
Every once and a while, a seemingly-simple email comes around that ends up being quite profound. This is one of them.
Awesome!! We complain about the cross we bear but don't realize it is preparing us for the dip in the road that God can see and we cannot.
Whatever your cross,
whatever your pain,
there will always be sunshine, after the rain...
Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall;
But God's always ready, to answer your call...
He knows every heartache, sees every tear,
a word from His lips, can calm every fear..
Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night,
But suddenly vanish, by dawn's early light..
The Savior is waiting, somewhere above,
to give you His grace, and send you His love.
May God fill your day with blessings!!
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle!
Date: 2010-03-07 19:34:09 Subject: F-35 loop WOW! From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: email@example.com
[Read, then watch.]
This is how a supremely well-trained US Navy pilot (ice running in his veins instead of blood) fully regains control of his $70 million fighter jet after a problematic vertical take-off attempt. Watch as the rear vertical thruster fires to cause the problem. I would say there's nothing about this the pilot enjoys. If he could have ejected at 100' upside down and lived, he probably would have. Looks like the afterburner kicks in while still vectored for vertical takeoff.
Lockheed would call this a "software malfunction" and do a little more "regressive testing". Good demo of power-to-weight ratio of this aircraft! And stability control. If he didn't come out of the loop wings-level, probably would have been bad news -- maybe taking some of the carrier with him! Flying through your own exhaust can lead to equipment malfunctions too! The F-35 is single engine and when unpowered has zero airspeed with the aerodynamics of a Steinway piano.
This is the most unbelievable piece of flying you will probably ever see in your life.
Date: 2010-03-14 10:54:31 Subject: FW: Color Test - This Is Not As Easy As You Might Think
These are the things we're supposed to do to remove the cholesterol around our brain and try to slow up Alzheimer's Disease. It took me 10 attempts before I could finally tell this brain of mine to concentrate. A great test, do it until you get 100%!
Bet you can't get 100% on the first try! This is pretty neat! See how you do with the colors! Have fun! It takes an average of 5 tries to get to 100%. Follow the directions! It's harder than it seems, as it should be! A brain waker-upper for today!
Date: 2010-03-14 18:29:17 Subject: misread From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: ralph unger <email@example.com>Ron said he wanted to hear about what we are doing, so my comment was that if we tell somebody else about it, it can be a little boring to other people. I am not bored and I can't look for outside work to do, even if your non payment here on earth, is waiting for you in heaven. If I ever get the energy, there is a lot of work to do on my house. If I don't finish this house, when it comes time to sell it, people will want it for nothing. The real truth is that as soon as they buy it they change everything. Just like on and airplane when it loses its cabin pressure, adults put on their own oxygen mask before they try and help somebody else, their kids included. From James
Date: 2010-03-15 21:40:39 Subject: Most Colourful River In The World ... From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: email@example.com
The river shown in the photographs is the Caño Cristales, which is located near the town of La Macarena in Columbia, South America. The river, world famous for its colourful display, has been called "the river that ran away to paradise", "the most beautiful river in the world" and "the river of five colours".
During Colombia's wet season, the water flows fast and deep, obscuring the bottom of the river and denying the mosses and algae that call the river home the sun that they need. And during the dry season there is not enough water to support the dazzling array of life in the river. But during a brief span between the wet and dry seasons, when the water level is just right, the many varieties of algae and moss bloom in a dazzling display of colors. Blotches of amarillo, blue, green, black, and red - and a thousand shades in between - coat the river.
The part of the river where the colourful blooms occur is quite isolated and is not accessible by road. Adventurous tourists can now fly into La Macarena and then make their way to the river site on foot as part of guided tours. The site was effectively closed to tourists for several years because of guerrilla activity in the region along with concerns about the impact of unregulated tourist traffic. However, the site was reopened to visitors in 2009.
So far, some 1,000 people have visited Caño Cristales, including around 100 foreign tourists. The tours will follow four clearly marked and authorized paths and one is no longer permitted to stay overnight or cook, as this was ruining the area previously.
Date: 2010-03-16 13:38:48 Subject: DEMENTIA QUIZ From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Below are four (4) questions and a Bonus question to test your perception, reasoning and the quickness of your logical processing.
They are stated simply so you should try to answer them instantly.
To assure the accuracy of the results, you should not take your time, but instead, answer each of them immediately
Let's find out just how clever you really are...
Ready? GO!!! (scroll down slowly to uncover Q's and A's)
You are a participant in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely WRONG!
If you overtake the second person and you take his place, YOU are in second place!
Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are WRONG again. Tell me Sunshine, how can you overtake the LAST person??
You're not very good at this, are you?
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30... Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10... What is the total?
Scroll down for the correct answer.....
Did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100.
If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right.... Maybe..
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2.. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono, and ??? What is the name of the fifth daughter?
Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary Good grief; read the question again!
Okay, now the Bonus round, i.e., a final chance to Redeem yourself:
A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?
It's really very simple
He opens his mouth and ask for it...
Does your employer actually pay you to think??
If so, Do NOT let them see your answers for this test!
PASS THIS ON TO FRUSTRATE THE SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!
Have a nice day, one and all.
[Remarks by ER: Whoever wrote this should stick to writing tricky quizzes about subjects she knows: many races have multiple laps and the last person is often overtaken. Isn't it sad as well as annoying when an exceptionally stupid person is so sure everyone's just as stupid as she is (smile)?]
Date: 2010-03-16 13:05:41 Subject: HELLO GOD From: james friesen <email@example.com> To: firstname.lastname@example.org
Hello God, I called tonight
To talk a little while
I need a friend who'll listen
To my anxiety and trial.
You see, I can't quite make it
Through a day just on my own...
I need your love to guide me,
So I'll never feel alone.
I want to ask you please to keep,
My family safe and sound.
Come and fill their lives with confidence
For whatever fate they're bound.
Give me faith, dear God, to face
Each hour throughout the day,
And not to worry over things
I can't change in any way.
I thank you God, for being home
And listening to my call,
For giving me such good advice
When I stumble and fall..
Your number, God, is the only one
That answers every time.
I never get a busy signal,
Never had to pay a dime.
So thank you, God, for listening
To my troubles and my sorrow.
Good night, God, I love You, too,
And I'll call again tomorrow!
Let everyone know God is there for them.
Date: 2010-03-16 21:21:31 Subject: This will make you think! From: james friesen <email@example.com> To: firstname.lastname@example.org
Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln .
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theatre named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford.'
Lincoln was shot in a theatre and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theatre.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here's the kicker...
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
WHO FIGURED THIS OUT?
1) Fold a NEW PINK $20 bill in half...
2) Fold again, taking care to fold it exactly as below
3) Fold the other end, exactly as before
4) Now, simply turn it over...
What a coincidence! A simple geometric fold creates a catastrophic premonition printed on all $20 bills!!!
COINCIDENCE? YOU DECIDE
Here is what you've seen...
First The Pentagon on fire...
Then The Twin Towers.
And now .. look at this:
TRIPLE COINCIDENCE ON A SIMPLE $20 BILL
It gets even better!! 9 + 11=$20!!
This is too interesting to pass up!
Date: 2010-01-03 Subject: Best teacher From: james friesen <email@example.com>
As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.
Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well
with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition,
Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking
his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big 'F' at the top of his papers.
At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.
Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around..'
His second grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle.'
His third grade teacher wrote, 'His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest, and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken.'
Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class.'
By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself.. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume.. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, 'Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to.'
After the children left, she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her 'teacher's pets..'
A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.
Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life.
Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck w ith it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honours. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.
Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.
The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.
They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, 'Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference.'
Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back.. She said, 'Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you.'
(For you that don't know, Teddy Stoddard is the Dr at Iowa Methodist in Des Moines that has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.)
Date: 2010-01-03 Subject: Tomorrow is never promised From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org>
One day a woman's husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't "anymore". No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more "just one minute." Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say good-bye, say "I love you."
So while we have it, it's best we love it, care for it, fix it when it's broken and heal it when it's sick. This is true for marriage.....And old cars... And children with bad report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.
Some things we keep -- like a best friend who moved away or a sister-in-law after divorce. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what.
Life is important, like people we know who are special.. And so, we keep them close!
I received this from someone who thought I was a 'keeper'! Then I sent it to the people I think of in the same way... Now it's your turn to send this to all those people who are "keepers" in your life, including the person who sent it, if you feel that way. Suppose one morning you never wake up, do all your friends know you love them?
I was thinking...I could die today, tomorrow or next week, and I wondered if I had any wounds needing to be healed, friendships that needed rekindling or three words needing to be said.
Let every one of your friends know you love them. Even if you think they don't love you back, you would be amazed at what those three little words and a smile J can do. And just in case I'm gone tomorrow.
I LOVE YA!!!
Live today because tomorrow is not promised.
Date: 2010-01-11 Subject: Kids in church From: james friesen <email@example.com>
"Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
Harold is His name.
A little boy was overheard praying:
"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good time like I am."
After the christening of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied,
"That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home,
and I wanted to stay with you guys."
I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin,
the Lord's Prayer for several evenings at bedtime.
She would repeat after me the lines from the prayer.
Finally, she decided to go solo.
I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word,
right up to the end of the prayer:
"Lead us not into temptation," she prayed,
"but deliver us from E-mail.
One particular four-year-old prayed,
"And forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they
were on the way to church service,
"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied,
"Because people are sleeping."
Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old
brother, Joel, were sitting together in church.
Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud.
Finally, his big sister had had enough.
"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."
"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,
"See those two men standing by the door?
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons,
Kevin 5, and Ryan 3.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
"If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,
Ryan, you be Jesus!"
A father was at the beach with his children
when the four-year-old son ran up to him,
grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
"He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said,
"Did God throw him back down?"
A wife invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
"Would you like to say the blessing?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
"Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
And if you don't send this to at least 8 people -- Thou shalt be forgiven.
Date: 2010-01-25 Subject: SCHOOL -- 1959 vs 2009 From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Scenario 1: Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.
1959 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2009 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario 2: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1959 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2009 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario 3: Jeffrey will not sit still in class, he disrupts other students.
1959 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2009 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario 4: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1959 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.
2009 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.
Scenario 5: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1959 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.
2009 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario 6: Pedro fails high school English.
1959 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.
2009 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Scenario 7: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.
1959 - Ants die.
2009 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents --and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario 8: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1959 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2009 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.
Date: 2010-01-25 Subject: Grandparents From: james friesen <email@example.com>
1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye...
2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.
6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these, yourself!"
8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised, "mine says I'm 4 to 6."
10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool "That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."
12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said another. "He's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."
13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."
14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!
Date: 2010-03-14 Subject: Traffic camera From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org>
A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera.
He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding.
Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.
Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed.
He tried a fourth time with the same result.
He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace.
Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.
You just can't fix stupid.
Date: 2009-11-02 Subject: Optical illusion From: james friesen <email@example.com>
Date: 2009-12-11 Subject: True-believer's prayer From: james friesen <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Date: 2010-03-21 Subject: Orchids and thoughts From: james friesen <email@example.com>